General 115

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Chapter 115. Are You A God?

"Ah, no thanks."

The moment I open the door and spot Dr. Kirigaya, I try to shut the door while saying that.

"Whoa, whoa! Wait, Kamiya-dono! I’ve come all the way from Okinawa to Tokyo! Please, let me in for a bit."

"We're poor, so I can't buy anything."

"I’m not a door-to-door salesman! Please, just open up!"

As I try to close the door, Dr. Kirigaya forcefully wedges her foot into the gap, pleading with me.

If she were a salesman, this would be totally illegal.

"Director Kirigaya, I told you. It's rude to visit on a day off without an appointment."

Behind the loud Dr. Kirigaya stands her assistant, Natori-san. Well, if she’s here, she probably won’t do anything too outrageous.

"Oh, Natori-san-san. It’s been a while. Alright, come in."

"Pardon the intrusion~!"

As I loosen my grip on the door, Dr. Kirigaya slips inside like a mollusk, quickly entering the house.

For someone who’s usually a recluse researcher, she moves surprisingly well.

"Oh! So this is the famed Homunculus Creation Soul Armor User from the Eastern Union!"

Dr. Kirigaya darts straight to her target in the living room.

When I say darts, I mean it literally—Misuzu is being wrapped up in her arms as she feels her all over.

"Suspicious person."

Though her voice is calm, Misuzu quickly shifts into a defensive stance, generating five homunculi.

"Wait, Misuzu, your clothes! It's so dark all of a sudden!"

"Yuu-kun, you can’t look."

My vision suddenly goes pitch black. It seems Mina covered my eyes from behind.

Well, I get it—the duplicates generated by Misuzu’s ability are stark naked right after creation.

"Mina, what’s happening now?"

"Dr. Kirigaya was about to lick the homunculi, but Misuzu’s five duplicates have pinned her to the floor."

"Is Dr. Kirigaya okay?"

"She looks like she’s in pain, but she's still licking the homunculi, so I think she’s fine."

Seriously, what is this guy even doing here? Then again, her purpose is probably Misuzu.

"Don't worry, Misuzu. She’s on our side, just a bit... eccentric."

"Exactly, young lady number two. She’s an important figure in Japan, believe it or not."

Mina and Hayami-san try to calm Misuzu down.

Given the way this first contact went, it’s no wonder she’s wary.

"Misuzu, let her go. Or at least dress the homunculi. I can't have a proper conversation like this."

"... I'll go with the latter option."

After some rustling and fumbling, it seems Misuzu has put clothes on her duplicates.

Finally, the restraint on my eyes is released, and I can see what’s happening.

"Hmm, fascinating. Absolutely fascinating."

Dr. Kirigaya is holding two of Misuzu’s duplicates, dressed in whatever clothes we had at home, as if she’s cradling flowers. She alternates between licking their cheeks and feeling them up.

The homunculi just stare lifelessly, enduring the whole thing. I didn’t know they could express emotions like that.

"Wow, she's really going for it."

"I never imagined Dr. Kirigaya would be this much of a weirdo."

"Huh? Misuzu, you know Dr. Kirigaya?"

"Of course. She was the Eastern Union’s biggest nemesis."

The original Misuzu watches her duplicates being tormented with a pensive look. What does it feel like to watch yourself being humiliated from a third-person perspective?

"Yeah, this guy is a world-renowned authority on electronic soul armor."

"The one responsible for crippling the Eastern Union’s communication networks. My homeland couldn’t reach her through electronic warfare, so in retaliation, they targeted me—the battlefield diva—with a missile strike."

"Wait, so it was partly out of spite…?"

Mina looks a bit conflicted, remembering how her national tour got canceled because of it.

"Thank you for providing the video for the people of the Eastern Union, Hayami-san. I’m sorry for the trouble it caused."

"Oh, no worries, Natori-san. It didn’t bother me much."

As his superior continues to fawn over Misuzu, Natori-san apologizes to Mina on her behalf.

"She’s always been like this, trying out any idea that comes to mind. It’s a real nuisance to those around her."

Calling her superior “this guy”. Natori-san’s attitude toward Dr. Kirigaya remains as frosty as ever.

"It must be tough for you, Natori-san-san. Were you in Tokyo for work today?"

"Yes, I have a business trip to Ichigaya. We could’ve traveled tomorrow, but the director insisted we come early to meet Major General Kamiya. And now, well…"

"Haha, so meeting me was just an excuse. Her real goal was seeing Misuzu."

"Misuzu is an extremely rare soul armor user, after all. As a researcher first and foremost, such a curiosity is far more important than a mere business trip."

"When you return to the lab, the work you skipped will still be waiting for you. And your hotel stay will be considered personal, so you’ll cover the costs."

"N-No! Natori-san! I’ve spent all my money this month on materials for my personal research, and now I’m broke!"

At this point, since we’re on the topic of money, I remember the issue we were originally discussing.

"Ah… I’m worried about money too, Dr. Kirigaya."

"...You two aren’t getting paid what you deserve for your positions?"

Seeing two of this country’s special forces personnel worried about money makes even Natori-san look concerned.

"No, I’m paid more than enough for a kid like me. But as a government worker, no matter how hard I try, my salary won’t increase."

"It sounds like you’re in quite the predicament, Kamiya-dono. Perhaps you could consult with me, a clever woman who runs a national research institute?"

"Even though you usually dump all the budget meetings on me..."

Ignoring Natori-san’s grumble, Dr. Kirigaya looks at me with eyes full of hope, eager to be relied upon.

"Well, actually…"

She’s annoying, but it’s better to have more brains to solve problems. So, I explain how Misuzu’s massive food expenses are ruining my household finances.

"Hmm... Given Misuzu’s importance to the country, shouldn’t the government cover her food expenses?"

"That’s probably true, but I can’t exactly request more funds after insisting on taking her in myself…"

"Haha! Major General Kamiya, always the rule-breaker, is surprisingly obedient when it comes to bureaucracy!"

"Well, I’ve already gotten away with so much. Any more would just feel wrong."

"I see, I see. Well then, I have a plan."

Oh? Seriously?

"Misuzu-chan should make money herself!"

"...Mina, call the police’s public safety division." 

"Maybe not an emergency call. Should we call the local station?"

"Wait, wait, wait! I’m not suggesting anything shady here!"

Protecting minors is the duty of a good citizen. Mina quickly looks up the number of the local police station on her phone.

"Then what are you suggesting?"

"I’d like Misuzu-chan to assist with my research."

"Research? What exactly would she be doing?"

"I’d like to borrow a few of her homunculi. The Eastern Union has kept their existence a secret for a long time, so studying them would be of great strategic value."

"You’re not going to do any cruel experiments, are you?"

"I swear I won’t do anything inhumane."

After hearing her explanation, I glance over at Misuzu.

"Under those conditions, I don’t mind. I always intended to contribute to research as a way of repaying this country for sheltering me. But I’d rather not have my body licked."

Misuzu, too…

"And the compensation for helping with the research?"

"As a research subject, Misuzu-chan will be provided with food expenses from my research budget. Natori-san will handle reallocating funds and arranging the meals."

Of course, Dr. Kirigaya delegates that responsibility to Natori-san.

"However, considering how much Misuzu-san eats, it might be better to contract an external service. We could hire a company that provides meals for dormitories or corporate cafeterias."

Without complaint, Natori-san immediately proposes a solution, as if such unreasonable demands were his daily life.

And it’s exactly the solution we needed.

"Wait… Not only will her food expenses be covered, but we won’t have to cook either? Really? Natori-san?"

I grab Natori-san’s shoulders as Mina and Hayami-san look at her with hopeful eyes.

"Uh, guys? You’re a little close."

Though Natori-san looks bewildered, how could we not be excited?

Not only will this solve our financial issues, but it’ll also save us from the daily grind of cooking.

Are you a god?

"Thank goodness… I was managing the kitchen somehow for now, but once I started my work with the music corps, Yuu-kun and the other older women who don’t cook much would’ve struggled."

"If Mina were gone, I had resigned myself to starting prep at 3 a.m. each morning. Thank goodness…"

"Thank goodness… truly…"

"Sounds like you’ve all been through a lot…"

Watching us embrace with teary eyes, Natori-san seems slightly taken aback.