Chapter 38. Their Feelings
There were some fortunate events as well.
Firstly, the villagers found shelter quickly.
A mansion belonging to the Trakia faction nobles is relatively close to the village.
They wouldn't treat us poorly if they mentioned Katia's name. For now, seeking refuge there and leaving the rest to those nobles and Jurgen seems like the best course of action.
And — not a single villager blamed Katia.
They understood perfectly well that the real culprit was Aster, who unjustly razed the village.
Although they understood, I thought they might hold some resentment toward her, knowing she was partially to blame. But that wasn't the case at all. They were remarkably good people.
However...
It's Katia's guilt that's difficult to deal with.
"..."
Katia returned to the tent, away from the villagers, and sat by the fire, looking gloomy as she hugged her knees.
She had involved them because of herself.
At least the villagers didn't show it, and Hermes suggested visiting that village in the first place.
But she had a strong sense of responsibility.
Telling her the truth now wouldn't ease her pain. It's Katia's virtue, but right now, it's just painfully apparent.
So, he wanted to ask.
Why did this girl become so fixated on the ways of nobility? The question he hadn't had the chance to ask before. And one he had somehow avoided asking altogether.
And Katia eventually murmured softly.
"...I wanted to be like my mother."
Starting the same way as the words he heard in the prison yesterday, but slightly more detailed, revealing her true nature.
Slowly, she began to speak.
◆
"Ah, I see."
He grasped the gist of it.
Within Hermes' vague childhood memories, Katia's mother had made several appearances.
He couldn't recall the details, but he remembered she was a very kind person. Katia had greatly admired her.
Her mother had perished facing a monster. That way of life had left a deep impression on her, leading her to aspire to be a proud noble.
No, she had no choice.
Her mother's sudden death, which she had adored so much, was too heartbreaking for her as a child to bear.
So, she had aimed to become like her mother, to embody her mother's way of life and thereby cope with her grief.
She had tried to fill the void in her heart by chasing after her mother's memory.
That void still showed no signs of being filled. That's why Katia had shown such a strong attachment.
Understanding this, Hermes confirmed what he had grasped.
With a face on the verge of tears, she confessed.
"But... I'm exhausted."
"!"
"It's been so hard. No matter how much I try, I can't achieve anything, and no one recognizes me. All my efforts are in vain, and everything is denied because of just one point, magic. Still, I convinced myself that my mother wouldn't give up, so I endured and kept trying."
"..."
"Then you came, and you gave me what I wanted most. Finally, I feel rewarded. With this, I can surely become the person I wanted to be... but!"
Her cries echoed.
"What I've done goes completely against my ideals! Everything would go smoothly if I left everything to His Highness, and it's my fault that Sara got seriously injured because of my involvement! And it's the same this time! The country is in turmoil, and I've heard it's causing monsters to become active everywhere. Even now, a powerful monster might appear somewhere and take people's lives. It's all!"
He thought she was overthinking.
But saying that wouldn't comfort her. That way of thinking was why she was lamenting now.
"The harder I try, the further away I get from my aspirations to the point of going in the opposite direction. So, the only thing I can do for this country now is to die right here and now!"
"!"
"...But I can't. I don't want to die... I..."
Whether she had calmed down or simply grew tired of lamenting.
Katia, taking a breath, spoke calmly as she did at first.
"...May I say something incredibly selfish?"
Nodding, he urged her to continue, and she chuckled with self-deprecation.
"I think it's fine as it is."
"Huh?"
"I'm thinking it would be fine to stay like this, just the two of us, throwing everything away and going somewhere far. Life might become more inconvenient than it is now, but with you— I feel like we could manage anywhere, and it would be fun anywhere."
"..."
"---But I hate the fact that I'm thinking that."
She grimaced with disgust and anguish.
"I hate it. I hate myself for trying to bind you with my selfishness, for clinging to my mother's memory knowing I can never reach her. And yet I can't abandon hope. It's painful to chase after it. I'm tired. I'm starting to hate even my beloved mother! I don't know anymore what's right, what I should do..."
She truly seemed lost, as she had said.
Caught between ideals and reality. A heart yearning for escape after the exhausting pursuit.
Hermes didn't deny that.
It was her freedom to desire what she wished. Whatever she wished for, Hermes would affirm it—
—Or so he intended.
"...I don't like it."
However.
These were the words that slipped out of Hermes' mouth.
"...What?"
"I... want you to keep chasing after me. I want you to stay true to the ideals you once held."
She widened her eyes.
Perhaps she had expected Hermes' answer to be the opposite of what she desired.
"...Why would you say something so cruel..."
"Cruel? Yes, perhaps I am. I might be saying something terribly cruel right now."
Pursuing dreams. Pursuing wishes.
The words were sweet, but without the power to achieve, the journey would turn into hell.
Understanding that, yet he said this.
Twisting others' hearts for his convenience.
In a sense, it was similar to what Aster, whom he detested, did. That's why Hermes had staunchly avoided it until now. He had excessively respected others' wills. He had thought it presumptuous of him, as someone learning about feelings, to imitate such behavior.
However, now for the first time.
Before Hermes had a desire that contradicted his principles.
So, he followed his desire.
Now— he would plunge her into hell.
As a start, he would—
"Katia, you underestimate the power of people's hearts."
In the tone he had used before, he told her what he had once told Sara.
"What are you suddenly?"
"Human emotions nurture people, advance the world— and even magic is born from emotions."
"!"
But this time, it was different from before.
Not only words, but he would also need proper proof.
Then, let's use it.
The forbidden magic was taught to him by his master. But—if he truly believed it was necessary, he could use it, his master had said.
The ancestral magic he had succeeded in reproducing, now was the time. He would show it to her.
And now, it was also the perfect time, timing-wise.
Activating the [Emerald Tablet], taking a breath, he began the incantation.
"'I define wings; to the unseen giant, the yoke of wisdom; release it to the ends of the world'"
Once again, she would be surprised to hear an unfamiliar incantation.
Reaching out to her, he smiled at her as she tilted her head, and he told her the name of the magic.
"Reenactment Ritual— [Hraesvelgr]."
"Eh—!?"
It was no wonder Katia was astonished.
After all, their bodies had suddenly floated up.
Continuing to ascend without stopping, they finally reached a point higher than the forest trees and continued to rise.
"Her, Hermes!? What in the world!?"
"[Hraesvelgr]. As you can see, it's a Bloodline Magic that allows flight."
"Flight!? Wait, that means—!"
She must have realized it.
Why does Hermes' master forbid him from using this magic? It was simple—because it would immediately reveal his master's identity.
Together with the magic that had become synonymous with her, the 'Sky Witch' Rose,
"Yes. My master is none other than the 'Sky Witch' Rose."
He revealed.
"Also known as Roselia Kirsch von Eustia. The former Third Princess and the legendary 'Triple Aptitude' magician of unparalleled greatness in history. She was so extraordinary that she got expelled from the royal capital— but to me, she's the most respected magician in the world."
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